We often joke about things like "finding a Latin lover," but the truth is, we all have different "types" of people we are attracted to. The reason we find different "types" of people attractive is partly biological. Apparently, our DNA matches better with some DNA, and subconsciously, we know this.
When it comes to men wanting to date younger women, it's also about fertility. A man can have a baby at any time in life (though he's more fertile when younger), but a woman cannot. As such, there appears to be a biological pull in men to want to date younger women.
Who we are attracted to is also partly due to environmental and psychological factors. For example, our upbringing creates our psychological makeup, meaning we're more attracted to certain personalities. Unfortunately, this is sometimes to our detriment as we go for what's familiar, not what would serve us well. Likewise, if a particular type of look was deemed "hot" by those around us, we may be more likely to be attracted to that look.
When it comes to dating younger or older people, it often has to do with lifestyle. If you lead a more "youthful" lifestyle, the chances are you're attracted to younger people. On the flip side, when we are younger, we might be attracted to maturer people with life experience who are more confident or settled in their lives.
Back in the day in Britain, women married older men because they'd had time to save up enough to start a family or had taken over the family estate. So it was natural for women to look for an older man. This is still sometimes the case today!
It is also believed that women mature faster. That means women often look for older men. Once you reach mid-life, this tends to even out, however.
Why are younger women attracted to older men?
There are several reasons:
- The man leads a youthful lifestyle that matches her own
- She's more mature than men her age
- She likes that he's had time to establish himself and can support a family
- He's more confident and happy in his own skin than men her age
- He has the kind of life experience she finds fascinating
- She feels safe knowing he finds her extremely attractive and will continue to do so as she grows older
- He's had time to play the field, so she feels safe knowing he's now ready to settle for real
- He's had time to learn how to create a great relationship
It can be any one of the above, or all of the above, that makes a woman want to date an older man.
What does it mean to lead a younger lifestyle?
Men don't have the same pressure to settle down as women do, as they can have children at any age. As such, many men--particularly in bigger cities--take their time to work on their career, social life, and having fun with casual dating before settling down.
The men who take their time doing this tend to lead social lives where they are also physically active. They aren't concerned about putting a baby to bed or getting up at 7 am on a Saturday. They don't have responsibilities that tie them down, so they stay up to date with what's happening and try new experiences.
These men often find they don't have much in common with men around their age who have settled down. As a result, they often connect with a younger crowd.
Of course, many men with families stay young at heart, are physically active, and try out as many new experiences as they can, but they still have less free time. They want to spend quality time with their family as much as they want to see their friends, which is as it should be.
Divorced men and single fathers are different, as they have to go out there and create a life of their own. They want a fulfilling social life and wish to partake in activities that make them happy.
Both men and women who stay single tend to look more youthful, as they aren't concerned with baby puke getting on their clothes. Instead, they are concerned about attracting someone to date. This means they stay up to date with fashion trends. Even single parents with children tend to keep more up to date with fashion trends and present themselves better.
Let's face it; when we're looking for a partner, we put our best foot forward when we walk out the door. Apart from on days when we're running late, the kids threw their cereal at you, or you're buried in so much work you have no idea if your jumper is the right way around because of exec reports!
Suppose you're physically fit, stay up to date with what's happening in the city, be aware of new trends, have an active social life, and dress fashionably. In that case, you're generally leading a youthful lifestyle.
Being comfortable being you
One of the most attractive traits of older men is that they are comfortable in their own skin. They're old enough to have weathered some storms. This means that while they no longer think they can do anything without experiencing some hurdles along the way, they know they can survive anything.
In short, it's the difference between youthful enthusiasm and determination and the kind of confidence that comes with age.
A truly confident man is not someone who thinks he's the best at everything, but rather someone comfortable knowing he can handle what comes his way. He's likely had times when he was lost and confused along the way, but he pulled through. And if he's a good man, he learned from the lessons. He went on to create an even better life instead of becoming bitter and or disillusioned.
A confident man also generally looks after his body and how he dresses. Of course, he's happy that he presents himself well, but unlike many younger men, he's not on an ego trip with it. And if he's sworn off fashion altogether, then he's comfortable with that.
To women, this kind o confidence is attractive. Possibly because it makes women safe being next to someone who knows how to weather storms.
Older men don't need a woman to feel happy
Most people find it offputting dating someone who needs them. Someone whose ego, or life, would fall apart without them. They want to be desired and loved, not needed.
Younger men often feel they need this or that woman to be happy. Older men have weathered enough breakups to know that they can find love more than once. If a woman doesn't show up properly, they won't have it. So they put their foot down. They aren't so desperate to have the woman that they will put up with bad behaviour.
Women find this sexy, as it makes them work for the relationship. The man is not some puppy trailing after them, but someone who demands they show up at their best.
It appears that people become more attractive once we have to put in an effort to get them and keep them. Not in an unhealthy way where one is playing games, but simply in a manner where the other person expects you to show up at your best.
Men of a certain age have also had time to create a life they're happy with. That means they don't need a woman to make them happy. They just want a woman to add to their already happy life.
And that's just it; women want to be wanted, not needed. A man who appreciates your care, caresses, cooking, or whatever it may be, is desirable. A man who needs it to get by is not.
Older men can manage a household
While this might not be true for all older men, most have learned how to:
- Cook a meal or buy healthy ready-made options
- Pee inside the toilet, or wipe up the drops that went elsewhere
- Clean up after themselves
- Do their own laundry, or have a trusty laundry service at hand
- Take care of the place where they live
When you date a young professional man, he's often so busy with work and friends that his home matters little. Of course, this doesn't go for everyone. But for many women, it's off-putting to visit a guy who lives like a pig or doesn't care about his surroundings. Women appear to be more prone to "nest" and look for someone they can "nest" with.
Older men no longer play the field
At a certain age, you've probably had enough of playing the field. You have had your fun with everyone, and now you want to have fun with that special someone. But, of course, that looks different to different people. Some people wish to have open relationships, or they want to partake in swinging! Having fun is individual, but you're no longer looking to play the field.
Women who are looking to settle down find this attractive in an older man. While they want him to be sexually attractive and appreciate a woman, they don't want to worry about his wandering eye. Nor do they want to worry about his ego needing a boost by flirting with everyone within a one-mile radius.
If you're looking for a younger woman simply because you're looking to reinvigorate your sex life, then think about your sex life at large first. Older women enjoy sex too. Check out this article about reinvigorating your sex life at any age.
Older men are more caring
As mentioned, younger guys are often career-focused. They also like to be social and may perfer casual dating. It's a lot about satisfying themselves. As we grow older, our values change. We appreciate intimate relationships and someone who's truly there for us. As we've already battled our way career-wise, we may also have some more free time. Even if we don't, we may be less interested in attending EVERY social event from here to tomorrow land.
In short, as we grow older, we learn to care for others as we appreciate them. We can also do so because we've learned to care for ourselves at this point.
Older men understand relationships
Younger men tend to think that because they're attracted to someone and like their personality, they're a match made in heaven. Everything will be fine.
Well, how about how to communicate? How to keep the relationship alive? How to compromise? How to learn to find out about and satisfy each other's needs? How to speak each other's love languages?
All those things one didn't consider around the age of twenty when one thought great relationships happened because great people met. They do. They just require a lot more than that.
What you can do to attract a younger woman
There are several things you can do to become attractive to a younger woman (or, for that matter--any woman):
- Become comfortable with who you are
- Stay positive, knowing that while hurdles may come, you can overcome them and reach your goals
- Look after your appearance
- Exercise and lead a healthy lifestyle
- Fill your diary with events that excite you
- Learn to take care of your home and the people around you
- Stay up to date with what's happening in your city and life in general
- Learn about how to create great relationships
How to attract a younger woman
In short, you attract a younger woman by leading a life you love, staying fit and happy, and learning how to have great relationships. However, all the points mentioned above are wise to remember if you're looking for a younger woman.
If you need inspiration in general for how to get started with dating, have a look at this article I wrote about dating after 50.